


I will love you till you hate me

by impossibleis_nothing



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-20
Updated: 2014-04-20
Packaged: 2018-01-20 03:30:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1494946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impossibleis_nothing/pseuds/impossibleis_nothing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha would do anything for Steve. Soon that became a question about life and death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I will love you till you hate me

They part ways at the cemetery. Steve looks longingly at her, he had no clue if he would see her again. Him and Sam would be on their way to find the Winter Soldier, he means Bucky. He couldn’t tell but he new Nat new him, how fast she came up with the information about. 

“Cap where do we start?” Sam asked.  
“Uh yea, um it seems we need to do some tracing. I don’t think he could of gotten that far,” Steve was worried.

Shield had been destroyed. He had been in contact with Furry and Stark as they began to recreate a new Shield. They supported his and Sam’s mission to find Bucky, and promised back up if needed. Steve had asked him Natasha had been in contact lately. But know one new where she was, not even Clint. 

Sam and Steve went on searching for three months. Still no lead. It was killing him. Sam was usually silent, he went wherever Cap wanted him to go.

“Why don’t we go find her? She could probably find him no problem,” Sam new their search was going nowhere and he new the only way to get answers was find Natasha.  
“She hasn’t be heard of in three months, I don’t think she wants to be found,” Steve replied.  
“Shit Captain if you asked for her help, she would be here in a second. Call Furry and see if he has a lead on her,” Sam was very persistent. 

Steve got a hold of Furry. He found out that Clint had been in contact with her briefly. She was last seen in Australia. But she was hiding out in small towns. Steve and Sam searched the whole continent. They ended up in a small town called Dolby. Sam was tired and went to the hotel to rest. Steve ended up sitting on the beach. In front of him he noticed a blond surveying the water. When she stood up and stretched he notice the scar. She was starting to walk away when they locked eyes.

“Steve,” She was breathless.  
“I told you, you wouldn’t look bad in a bikini,” Steve blushed.  
“What are you doing here?” Natasha questioned.  
“I need your help, Nat.”  
“Still haven’t found him.”  
“Many leads that just lead to dead ends.”  
“Well Cap I just might be able to help you.”

They just looked at each other. Steve new she had been looking for him. He didn’t no why, but he didn’t want to pressure her. She started to walk into the city. Steve followed. She lead him to a little apartment. It was empty. She had been living off nothing. The destruction of shield gave her a new start. She sat in a chair and stared out the window. Steve sat on the edge of her bed.

“Nat, I need you to tell me what you know and what happened to you. Why did you go off the grid?”  
“I went off the grid because I could. I no longer had to follow orders, or keep in check. I made the mistake of contacting Clint. I new he would be worried and I was worried he would do something stupid. I was looking for the Soldier, and I found him. He saw him. Once I saw him, I thought what would I do if I caught him. I couldn’t bring him to Shield. I could see the pain in his eyes, I’ve seen it before. So I ran. I changed by identity and then I just kind of lived for a month.”  
“What you found him? You didn’t think maybe I would want to know! And I was worrying to Nat. The day you stopped checking in I worried. How come you couldn’t face Bucky?”  
“We had a past together. I new him as James. He was the top soldier in the KGB. He was my trainer and soon my partner. He always had my back. Soldiers were never meant to have feelings. Once we were caught, they separated us. Thats the first time I saw the pain in his eyes. It was devastating. I thought he was gone. When I moved to Shield, I tracked him. I found out he become the Winter Soldier. Then in one battle, before you were here I was shot. I knew it was him. He didn’t even remember me. I knew I had lost him forever. But being built like I am I grew passed that. Steve I will help you find him. You need to remember he might not ever remember you. It will kill you, but at one point if things go wrong you have to move forward.”

Steve said nothing. He was holding Natasha’s hand. He could see the tears falling from her yes. Steve pulled her onto his lap and held her. She nuzzled her head into his neck. God did he smell good she thought. Natasha pulled away and their eyes meet. Natasha leaned in and kissed Steve. Steve moved his hands slowly up her shirt. Natasha leaned him down on her bed. Both of them never felt closer to someone in their lives then they did right now. 

Steve woke up and looked at the clock, it had been two hours since he found her. He traced his finger around her bare back. The white sheet was sitting just above her lower back. She rolled over and looked up at him. He smiled. Oh right, he then thought Sam.

“Shit, sorry Nat I totally forgot, Sam’s at our hotel.”  
“Way to keep track of you team Cap,” Nat laughed. God he missed that laugh.  
“Get packed because we’re rolling out the second we get Sam.”  
“I’m always packed.”

They quickly made it to the hotel. When they opened the door they were shocked. Sam was sitting on the couch watching TV and eating room service. 

“What the heck is going on?” Steve laughed.  
“Oh sorry, I thought we were taking the day off, you know since you haven’t been gone for hours,” Sam snapped.  
“Sorry that was kind of my fault, I stole him,” Natasha smiled up at Steve.  
“Damn, Natasha thats you? You girl are one fine blond,” Sam jumped up from the couch.  
“Woah there tiger. Nat’s going to help us find Bucky,” Steve said.  
“Well then Widow what do you got for us,” Sam asked.  
“Did any of you even search Russia?” Natasha questioned.  
Sam and Steve looked at each other.  
“Really, all the information I gave you lead to Russia,” Natasha was shocked by their stupidity. 

She explained to them where he would be and she was sure of it. Sam and Steve were confused by how quickly she could find him, yet they searched three months and ended up nowhere. Natasha had never stopped searching, she kept a close eye on James. She wanted Steve to find her. She never stopped thinking about him. They were on plane to Russia and ended up in a small town. Natasha told Steve this was his old hiding spot. And if he were there they would have a chance to save him. While they were sitting in the cab Steve held Natasha’s hand. Steve never wanted to let go. He had been having feelings for Nat for a while now. He never thought she felt the same but earlier confirmed she cared for him to. He was worried though if Bucky came to his sense that he would want to have Natasha back. He wasn’t sure if she could resist him. 

“Were here. Don’t say a word to anyone. This place is full of spies,” Natasha told the guys.  
“If it’s full of spies then why would he be hiding out here?” Sam asked.  
“Think about it, if you’re a spy and you want to hide from other spies where’s the best place to go?” Natasha whispered.  
They both looked puzzled.  
“You hide within spies, they’ll just assume you’re spying as well,” Natasha said it as if everyone new that.

The guys followed her as she walked into a bar. The bar was full of people having deep conversations and constantly looking over their shoulders. However neither Steve or Sam could spot Bucky. Natasha kept walking all the way to the back, she opened the back door and stepped outside. When they walked outside it was covered with trees. Natasha walked in further. She then pushed the two behind a large tree. And pointed up. he was sitting up in a tree a couple feet in front of them.

“Holy shit! Its him,” Sam was shocked, “What do we do now?”  
“Nat you lead us this far I think you need to get him to come down,” Steve said.  
She nodded, “Have Stark on back up, I don’t plan on this going smoothly.”

She climbed a tree a next to the Soldier. She new he could sense her. The second she peered out of the darkness she saw his arm shine. She quickly ducked. She was quick on her toes jumping from branch to branch. Then their eyes met.

“James it’s me, Natasha,” she cried.  
“You’re the enemy and I’m the Winter Soldier,” he spoke.  
“You know who I am I can sense it,” she was getting scared. 

The expression on his face dropped. He moved closer to her. She was cautious but for some reason she thought he was coming to his senses. Steve and Sam watched carefully from the ground. They had located the tracking device on their phone and concerted Tony to be close. They were going to take the Winter Soldier in. With in a brief second The Solider grabbed Natasha and began to choke her. All was going wrong. Steve flung his shield knocking the Solider’s arm. He let go of Natasha, dropping her to ground. He jumped down and began a battle with Steve. Natasha got enough strength to come up from behind and knock the Solider unconscious. Then fell back down. Just then Stark’s plan flew down. Steve held Natasha’s hand the whole way home. 

When they got back to New York in the new Avenger tower Natasha was rushed to the medical ward, Bucky was rushed to medical as well, but his was more of solitary confinement. No one not even Steve was allowed to see him. Banner and Stark began working on ways to erase the brainwashing that had been done by hydra to him. Natasha was slowly gaining strength, the fall had taken a lot out of her. Steve sat by her side the whole time.

“Are you going to give me any room to breathe Steve?” Natasha had woken up.  
“Nat, you’re awake. How are you feeling?” Steve was jolted.  
“A little sore, but I guess that’s what happens when you fall out of a tree,” She laughed.  
“I bet. Thanks for taking him out,” Steve said.  
“How is he?”  
“I hear he’s getting better. No one is allowed to see him right now, I’ve been told he is starting to remember and that’s causing a lot of pain.”  
“Steve then what are we doing here?”

Natasha quickly pulled out the IV tube that was going into her. She grabbed her clothes and rushed out of the medical ward. She knew where they would be holding him. Back when she switched to Shield she had to go through the exact same thing. Steve got up and chased after her. He grabbed her before she reached the door.

“Nat what are you doing?”  
“I’m saving him!”  
“I don’t think we should be interfering with their progress right now.”  
“Steve if you love me you will let me do this.”  
Steve was shocked by what she said.  
“How did you know?”  
“Because I know and its okay I love you to.”

Steve let her go. She punched in the code on the door and walked in. She quickly pulled Steve in before he was left standing alone. Natasha Just starred at him. A wall of glass separated them. Bruce and Tony quickly noticed them and freaked out.

“What, how did you to get in here? Natasha you were in medical!” Bruce shouted.  
“Nat, woke up and said she had to come here,” Steve replied.  
“Nat huh? I’m sensing a romantic kinship brewing here Cap,” Tony mocked.

Natasha said nothing, she just stared through the glass. He was weak, sitting with his head between his legs. He then looked up and starred at her. Natasha walked to the door and let herself in to the other side of the glass. James stood up in front of her. She could see the pain in his eyes. She turned to the other three and gave them a nod to leave the room. Steve was hesitant, but he knew Nat wouldn’t do anything to risky. 

“Do you remember?” Natasha asked.  
“It seems to be coming back,” James responded.  
“How much can you recall?”  
“I’ve always been able to recall you, you were to hard to forget. But the years I spent knowing Rodgers are a little foggy. I can remember the killing though, all the killing I did. And the attempts to brainwash me. Worst of all I remember them telling me you were dead. Gone.”  
“I remember the day they told me you were gone as well. It transformed my life. I switched sides even.”  
“How can you do that knowing what you were?”  
“I try not to think of the past. I don’t even think of the future. I’ve got debts to pay and thats all I look to.”  
“I’m confused of where to go from here. Fury told me if I can make the change I am able stay, but if I don’t I die.”  
“He won’t kill you I won’t let him.”  
“How’s Steve been?”  
“He’s adjusting but he’s really great. I can see why you picked him to be your friend,” she smiled.  
“You two are together aren’t you?” he sounded depressed.  
“James, time moved on and I fell in love with Steve.”  
“I’m happy for you. I will always love you Natasha, you’ll always be my partner.”

With that Natasha walked out of the room. Her heart was pounding. She knew her love for James was in the past, but she felt for him. Moving on is always easier when the other person moves on as well. When she stepped into the hallway Stark, Banner Clint and Steve were all standing there. 

“He remembers everything. He wants to join our side.” She said that and walked away.

Steve wasn’t sure if he should follow her. He knew Nat would need her time. Instead he went into see Bucky. 

“So what is it? Bucky, James, Winter?” Steve’s voice was shaky.  
“James, just James,” his voice was soft.  
“I don’t know where we go from here, but you have to know I always got your back,” Steve said.  
“Take care of her okay? She’s special and she deserves all you can give her.”  
“I will.”

Steve nodded and walked out. He realized James was holding onto a lot of pain. He knew James would not be staying with the Avengers. As much as it would kill him to lose James again, he couldn’t imagine how hard it would be for him. He new Natasha had moved on and she made it pretty clear, her James were a past. Steve let Tony and Bruce get back to their work. He was informed that Natasha had left Avenger’s tower. He got on his motorcycle and headed home. In front of his apartment building he noticed Natasha’s car. She was sitting in his kitchen. Her gaze lifted to Steve has he walked in.

“Hey how are you?” Steve sighed and leaned against the wall.  
“He’s not going to stay with us forever is he?” She was sad.  
“I don’t no, I don’t no how he’s feeling,” Steve had kneeled down in front of her, “I have a feeling he might be still in love with you.”  
“Steve, don’t,” She look concerned.  
“Nat, if you need to be with him I can step aside. I want you to be happy and if thats with him,” Steve new his voice sounded shaky.  
“I love you. I will love you until you hate me Steve. James is my past. God I loved him. But that book is closed,” She squeezed his hand.  
“Good because I love you to Nat,” He smiled.  
“Plus you know Cap you’re kind of good looking,” She said cooly.  
“Well you know Widow you’re not to bad yourself,” He laughed.

She leaned in and kissed him. And of course he returned the kiss. He picked her up and her legs wrapped around his hips. He carried her into his bedroom. The two didn’t wake up until 11am the next day. 

“You’re amazing Steve Rodgers,” Natasha said as she ran her fingers through his hair.  
“Thanks,” Steve mused.  
“A little bit full of ourself are we?” Natasha chuckled.  
“No if its just if I’m amazing it’s because you made me,” He always new what to say.  
“Should we go to work Cap?”  
“I feel like we should.”

They got to work and Tony threw shade at them for being made. Clint teased Steve about his ruffled hair. Natasha came up behind Clint and backhanded him. Everyone laughed, except Clint. Fury informed them that James would be mission ready. Clint, Steve and James were deployed. They were needed in Costa Rica to defuse a terrorist attack. Natasha protested that she should go, but Fury and Stark said they needed her help building up the Avenger’s archive. Steve assured everything would be fine. As Steve pulled her in for a hug James walked in.

“James, you look good,” Natasha smiled.  
“Thank you Miss Romanoff,” James kept his face still.

She expected that. After all now they were just agents on the same team. They weren’t partners and she respected that.

“Alright James are you familiar with our battle plan,” Clint swooped in and took James.  
“Good luck,” Natasha squeezed Steve’s arm and nodded to Clint.

Their mission was simple. Go in stop the attackers and get out. As Clint flew them out, James pulled Steve aside.

“I’m not staying after this.”  
“I understand,” Steve was angry.  
“You need to tell Natasha that I’ve died though.”  
“I’m not lying to her, James.”  
“Rodgers, everyone else had agreed to this, please.”  
Steve could see the pain in his eyes Natasha was talking about.  
“Fury is on board with this?”  
“Yes, I wouldn’t ask if he wasn’t.”  
“Fine.”  
“Till the end of the line?”  
Steve just smiled.

The mission went as planned. Land on a Friday and they were back on Monday. Well only Clint and Steve. On their way Steve asked Clint about the plan. Clint said it was about Tasha’s happiness and James being here wasn’t good for her. Went they got home Steve broke the news to Natasha. She tensed got angry. Steve felt bad. Clint told her he was just looking out for Steve. He said James owed a debt to her and he fulfilled it. Natasha understood. All the lying was killing Steve, he didn’t understand how Clint could do it. 

There was a funeral for James on Wednesday. The funeral only consisted of Steve, Natasha, Fury, Clint and Stark. Natasha just stared at the grave. She had already been through this before with James, so there wasn’t any tears left for him. Steve and Nat were the last to leave. When they got home Natasha went straight to bed. Fury allotted them some time off. Steve surprised Natasha with tickets to Bora Bora. Their hotel was lovely and the view was great. They had the time of their lives. They almost forgot they were agents. When they got back business was as usual. They were deployed on missions. Natasha and Steve never left each others side. They were an unstoppable team. Tony had gotten Avenger’s unit up and running perfect. 

One night lying in bed Natasha was thinking. Her mind was running a million miles per second. She couldn’t understand something, pieces weren’t adding up. Steve could feel her thinking. When he looked over he saw how tense her body was. 

“Nat stop thinking and go to sleep,” Steve was very drowsy.  
“It doesn’t add up,” Natasha told Steve.  
“What doesn’t add up?” Steve sat up confused.  
“James.”  
“What do you mean James?”  
“His body was never recovered and I doubt Fury would let an agents body be left. It could be dangerous. And you Steve. He was your best friend yet you didn’t shed a single tear. Nothing makes sense,” Natasha had gotten up and stormed out of the room.

Steve was nervous. She was getting to the truth. Of course he didn’t cry at the funeral, he new James was still out there. He new this would eat Natasha alive if she didn’t find out. When he walked out into the kitchen Natasha was sitting with a tumblr of vodka. She was going to go rogue if he didn’t say something.

“You’re a good man Steve Rodgers and I know you know something I don’t know,” Natasha was furious.  
“Nat come on, lets just go back to bed,” Steve tried his best.  
“Tell me what you know or I walk,” She wasn’t kidding.  
“Are you giving me an ultimatum?” Steve was scared.  
“I will walk and never come back. I will kill till I find the information I need,” She snarled.

Steve went ghost white. He’s seen this Natasha in action against their enemies but never had he’d been on the receiving end. She stood up so Steve started talking.

“I wasn’t upset because James is still alive. He wanted to make an escape. So he talked to Fury and they agreed that he would be wiped off from the records. He was doing it for you, he needed to get rid of his pain. He wanted to make sure he could move on. He thought if you thought he was dead for real then he could close that book. Nat I never wanted to hurt you, I just wanted what was best for you and James,” Steve pleaded.  
“Did Clint know about this?” She was stern.  
“He only agreed because he cared about you, Nat,” Steve was disappointed in himself.

She got up and ran past him. She grabbed her jacket and left. Steve didn’t know what to do, he had betrayed her. Trust was everything to Natasha and trust was everything to him. He went against his own morals. Natasha drove to Clint’s home. She walked straight into his and choked him. She told she didn’t understand how he could do this to her. He new her better then Steve didn’t. He pleaded his case, but she said forget it. She had to find him, James. She could sense he was close. And she was right. When she pulled up at the cemetery, she saw him. He was staring at his grave.

“Its scary isn’t it? Knowing people you care about think you’re dead,” Natasha startled him.  
“Natasha what are you doing here?” James was scared.  
“Your partner gave up your secret,” She was very angry.  
“Natasha I didn’t because I needed to, everything would be better if I were dead.”  
“Then why aren’t you?” Her heart was pounding.  
“Seeing you with him, Steve makes me feel deader then if I were lying in the ground.”  
Her face changed from anger to a sympathetic look.  
“I can’t have you looking at me like that Natasha, you will always be mine in my eyes. But Steve is my best friend and you’re good for him and he’s good for you. You and me were the same and now I see that can’t work. Everything I’ve done in my life is so messed up. Black Widow I will always love you, always.” James then walked up to Natasha and kissed her. He could tell she was distant but still there. He new what he was about to do was going to kill her. But he needed to do it. His life was over many years ago and he accepted that. 

“James what are you doing?” Natasha was worried  
James kept walking backwards toward the cliff.  
“I will always love you Natasha,” with those last words James pulled the trigger and the bullet went through his heart. His body, lifeless, fell backwards. Natasha dropped to her need’s. Tears came pouring out of her eyes.She couldn’t believe what just happened. As she put her face into her hands she noticed in the spot were James had stood and pure red rose was left. She went to pick it up and noticed the the letters KGB engraved on the stem. When she turned around she saw Steve standing there. She ran into his arms and cried. Steve could understand by what happened that Bucky, James was really gone. A tear ran down his face. 

Their lives had to move on as normal as they could. Natasha apologized to Clint, he forgave her. She told Steve she was sorry but he said it was his fault. It had been a month since James was really gone and everyone was starting to function better. Natasha had started going on missions again. She had been feeling off lately. Her stomach was sore constantly. She thought it was just stressed. Her and Clint were deployed on an important mission together. They were to go to Russia and kill their target. The target was Ivan and old KGB member that Natasha new very well. They were halfway through their mission when Natasha dropped unconscious. Clint quickly called medical help and finished the mission with out her. 

“What’s wrong with me Fury?” Natasha asked.  
“I don’t no how to tell you this,” Fury said.  
“What is going on!” She demanded.  
“It seems you are pregnant,” Fury seemed confused.  
“Pregnant, so what I’m carrying around a little Captain America?” She tried to humour the situation.  
“Not exactly.”  
“What do you mean by not exactly. I can assure you Cap’s they only one I’ve been with.”  
“It seems that baby is yours and James.”  
“WHAT?!?” Natasha was freaking out, “what do you mean it’s James, thats impossible!”  
“It seems it has something to do with the serum both of you were injected with.”  
“I don’t understand, what am I going to do?”  
“It gets more complicated than that though,” Fury looks upset.  
“Really what could be worse?”  
“It seems that the serum in the baby is so powerful that if you are to have the child, you won’t make it,” Fury took a deep breathe, “And if you are to terminate the baby, there’s a strong chance you won’t make it either.”

Natasha sat their shocked. Her whole world fell in front of her eyes. She was carrying James’s baby. She then thought of Steve what would he say. She new he would tell her to try and save herself, but could she? Was she really worth saving at this point in her life. If she were to have the baby Steve could have the best parts of his life together. She new she would die eventually and that she new it would be her decision. But Steve couldn’t know about it. 

“The pregnancy is also different. Due the serum the baby will be ready with in four months,” Fury said.

Four months she thought. Shit. It seems her time was coming.

“Don’t, I mean I don’t want to terminate it,” Natasha whispered.  
“Romanoff but,” Fury stuttered.  
“No buts, we all have our time. This is going to be hard but I can’t have Steve knowing about the complications. Understood. I don’t want to be shorted on missions. When I see the time is right i’ll take a shot and go out like I should. Fury you agree or I take my life right now,” Natasha stated her case.  
“Of course Natasha, if its what you want,” Fury then walked out.

Natasha went home and told Steve. Surprisingly he was happy about it. She told him because of the serum power she wouldn’t have to give up missions. It was killing her to lie to him, literally. But she knew it was for the best. A month passed and Steve asked if she wanted to start creating a babies room. She told him know. They would take care of that when they sensed the babies personality. Steve bought it. Everyday she looked in the mirror she was ashamed of herself. 

The baby was due in two weeks when the Avengers got the call for an important mission. Before they were about to leave. Natasha went to Clint and told him everything. He was angry. She told every agent dies and it just happened to be her time. He told her he couldn’t understand why she was doing this but then again he never understood her, his Tasha. She kissed him on the cheek and they walked out to the plane. Together they flew the team into DC. The city was under attack. Once they landed Natasha and Clint Followed Steve, while the others did their thing. Clint took a lead and went off. Natasha was left with just Steve. It was to much for Steve. Natasha saw the bullet that was headed for Steve. She with out thinking pushed Steve out of the way and took the bullet. Her body fell to the grab. 

“NATASHA!” Steve yelled. her breathing was slowing down. Steve quickly called for reinforcements. Thor came to protect them. Steve held Natasha in his arms.  
“Steve, I love you,” it was hard for her to speak.  
“Natasha no, stay with me please, stay with me,” Steve was crying.  
“I will love you till I hate you Rodgers,” Natasha coughed.  
“Nat, Nat please don’t,” Steve was devastated.  
“I’m sorry, its my time, I love you,” She used the rest of her effort and pulled Steve’s face to her and kissed him. When Steve moved his head up her eyes closed. Closed for the last time. Steve erupted into tears. Medical had come to take her body. 

The baby was delivered. It was a beautiful red haired girl. Steve held the girl. He could see Nat and James in her eyes. It killed him. The medical ward would look after the baby until Steve was sure he wanted to take the parental control of her. The team was informed that the funeral would be tomorrow. Steve wasn’t ready for it. He went to see Clint.

“I’m sorry Cap, I’m sorry,” Clint sobbed.  
“You’re sorry. What could you be sorry for?” Steve was confused.  
“Tash could’ve had a chance to live. She chose to die,” Clint told.  
“She what?!” Steve was furious.  
“If she had the baby she would have died during the delivery, but if she terminated the baby she would of had a chance to live,” Clint released his guilt.  
“How could she do this?” Steve felt sick, “There was a chance either way she could die?”  
“It was more than a chance, it was 99% sure she would die. But she couldn’t die in a medical ward. She said she had to die in battle,” Clint looked like he was going to be sick.  
“Nat was always thinking about other people,” Steve’s words faded off, he walked out of Clint’s room. 

He couldn’t be mad at anyone because Natasha did what she was trained to. Save her team and die fighting. He knew he would take care of the baby, it was the only life he had left. The day of the funeral came. Only the team was present and a couple spies and Fury. The sky was black. Steve almost smirked, of corse the sky would be the colour of the BlackWidow. When they got to the grave sight, the tomb stone only read Natasha Romanoff. He didn’t expect the date of her death to be on their since she had died many times in history. Everyone was crushed. As Clint went up to say a few things about Natasha, Steve’s gaze sauntered off. His gazed rested upon a body standing above the cliff, it seemed to be Natasha. He knew it was is imagination, but he couldn’t help but stare. She did that cool smile she always did. She winked her eye and made a squeezing motion in her left hand. Steve could feel his right had squeeze tight. When he looked back up at her he was gone. gone. Clint was finished and it was his turn.

“Natasha, Natasha, you asked me if I could trust you, trust you to save my life. I wish I could rewind the time I had with you and slow it down. You were everything to me and more. Your wit and charm mesmerized everyday. Further more you were the greatest team mate a guy could ask for, you were a great friend. You deserved so much more, but I know you always had a plan. I respect you. And yes I trust you with my life, I trust you. [Steve sobbed], Say hi to James for me. I will love you till you hate me. Forever Nat,” Steve finished his speech. 

When they lowered the casket, Clint dropped an arrow down the grave. Steve his favourite drawing of her and the all red rose in the grave. Everyone but Clint and Steve had left. 

“What’s next Cap?” Clint asked.  
“I don’t no Clint, but we will live the rest of our lives thinking about her. She wouldn’t want us living in the past, she never did. The book closes,” Steve put a hand on Clint’s shoulder and the two walked away. 

He couldn’t believe he was saying goodbye to her. How was he supposed to go home? How? All her things were there. He knew he would have to go home and start organizing her stuff. But whenever he opened that door he couldn’t help but pray she would be lying in his bed. Sadly she wasn’t. He kept thinking she was selfish, it killed him for having theses thoughts. He grabbed her uniform from the closet. As he pulled it out a note dropped. It read: 

Steve, I’m sorry.  
I can assume Clint has filled you in on my pregnancy and the complications. You have to know I didn’t want to die, not yet. But I couldn’t allow myself to sacrifice the baby. Especially because it was James’s. He deserves to have a part of him live on. You have to understand this was the toughest decision I’ve never made. Being with you was the best part of my life, I wouldn’t of wanted it any other way. Work pass your pain Steve, don’t hang on to pain. You were the best leader I ever followed and I told myself I would follow you to my death. Steve, I no you don’t understand my ways, but I was a trained assassin. I was built to protect. As for the baby, I can’t ask you to look after her. On my behalf please give her the name Nadia. If you are going to take after her, you have my blessing. I trust you. If you ever speak to her about me, don’t hold back. Tell her what my life was like, she has a right to know. Steve. As for the others, please make sure Clint doesn’t do anything stupid, let him know I fulfilled my debt. He was a good parter and he changed my life for the better. Don’t let Bruce and Tony try and find some way to bring me back to life, I’m happy, I went down fighting. It was what I was train to do. Thor will be upset but let him know I’m fine and grieving is good, it’s respectful but don’t waste away. Finally Steve don’t close off your heart. You deserve love and I’m glad I shared your heart for the time we had. Live your life Steve. Your the strongest person I know. I trust you to move on and I’m okay if you do. I will say hi to James for you. I will always love you.  
I will love you to you hate me. Steve.  
Nat, xoxo.

Steve finished the letter. She was the greatest person he had ever known. Nadia he thought, it was beautiful. He knew he had to move on. He would never forget Natasha and time is going to be tough. He owes it to her to take care of his team. He’s dealt with loss before. Natasha would always be apart of him. Steve finished cleaning up and packed a little box of Nat’s stuff. he was going to keep it for Nadia. It’s all he had left of her. He then headed off to the Avenger’s Tower. He went straight to the medical ward where Nadia was being held. There he met up with agent Hill.

“I’m going to take care of her,” said Steve.  
“Are you sure you’re ready to make that decision Steve?” Agent Hill asked.  
“I want to and I owe it to Natasha,” Steve took a deep breath.  
“Alright, I will let Fury no you will be caring for her,” Agent Hill’s voice was calming.  
“Nadia, her name is Nadia,” Steve smiled, the Nadia was waving at him.  
“Its a beautiful name,” Agent Hill watched Steve, “Under Fury’s orders however, he needs you to move into Avenger’s Tower. He want’s Nadia to have the best protection. Natasha had agreed with him. In fact there’s something I need to show you.”

Steve was confused. He followed Agent Hill up to the sixteenth floor. She punched in the code. When he walked in he noticed it was an apartment that looked identical to his. He thought he could even smell Natasha’s sent. They walked up to a door. Once Hill opened it he realized it was a bedroom. A bedroom for Nadia.

“The design’s a little bit scary I thought, but Natasha had planned it out,” Hill mentioned. 

The walls were all grey with stars bordering around the top of the room. The furniture was all black and red. Very Natasha. The Crib was black with a red black widow painted on it. When he looked inside the crib there was a pillow that resembled his shield. He smiled. 

“It’s perfect,” Steve whispered. 

———————————————————Five Years Later————————————————————————————

Nadia had turned out to be a wonderful handful. She was sneaky and played tricks on all her uncles. She sat in on their training session. She was just like her mother. Steve also noticed James in her every now and then. She was cool with her words. Everyone centred around her, yet she like being by herself. She was scary smart. She didn’t ask a lot of questions. Steve would mention her mother to her every now and then. She was interested in that right now. A part of him died every time she acted like her mother. It was the fifth anniversary of Natasha’s death. The tower was in a somber mood. People talked about the greatness that was Natasha. Those who hadn’t known her shared gossip about her famous missions. It made Steve smile whenever he heard people talking about her. She was still a part of everything and everyone. Steve was on his way to drop a rose off on Natasha’s grave when Nadia asked to go with him.

“You do know where I’m going right?” Steve wanted to make sure that she knew he wasn’t going out to the store.  
“I no, you’re going to mom’s grave. You always go there with a rose, please dad can I go” She was smart.  
“Alright let’s go,” and the two left.

They didn’t speak the whole car ride there. Nadia just stared out the window. She looked like Natasha during moments like these. Steve had made it clear to Nadia that biologically he wasn’t her dad. She still insisted on calling him dad. It made Steve smile whenever she did. When they got to the grave they both just stood there.

“So mom’s just under the ground here?” Nadia asked.  
“Yes,” Steve responded. Nadia then grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze.  
“What was my mom like?”  
Steve didn’t know where to start, “Your mom was complicated. She had a tough life growing up. She was taught to be a weapon. I didn’t no your mother then. When I met your mother she was a breath of fresh air. She had incredible wit. She was smart and beautiful She cared about everybody in her life deeply. Most important she cared about you a lot.”  
“She never met me though,” Nadia seemed sad.  
“Not in person but you were a part of her,” Steve said.

The two of them just starred off into the distance. Nadia’s gaze landed on James’s grave.

“Is that my real dad’s grave?” She surprised Steve.  
“How do you know that?” Steve was caught off guard.  
“I don’t exactly know, I just have this feeling that it,” She was getting anxious.  
“Well you’re right it is. He was a great friend, a best friend,” Steve told.  
“The three of you were friends?” Nadia questioned.  
“We all knew each other at different periods in our lives and then briefly reconnected in the final year of your parents life,” Steve was killing himself.  
“They miss you, and mommy says she loves you. She also said I’m the most beautiful girl she’s ever seen,” Nadia exclaimed.  
“I love you to Nat,” Steve bent down and put the rose against the grave. 

Nadia would go on to ask more questions as she grew up. Steve and the rest of the Avengers rejoiced about Natasha every time Nadia asked. Steve was reluctant to let Nadia go into agent training. He knew that was the assassin in her. He respected his daughter with any decision she made. With time Steve moved on and began to date. However his mind or heart never told him to settle down. He was happy and at the end of the day that’s all Natasha wanted for him. Happy, he was glad to consider himself that.


End file.
